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Microsoft Donates Millions to New York Schools; Patches to Follow
NEW YORK Bill Gates has announced that his foundation will donate $51 million to New York City to create 67 small, academically rigorous public high schools in poor neighborhoods. New York Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, proclaimed that the grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation was the beginning of a new chapter in education.
"I am excited about this grant," he exclaimed at a news conference. "And Bill Gates has assured me that we will get the money as soon as the latest software patches are downloaded into the Foundation's computer system."
Gates outlined the parameters of the grant that includes mandatory keyboards on every student's desk. These keyboards will be essential in order for students to perform many tasks that used to be done manually: to register attendance (click Enter), to leave at the end of the day (click Escape), to move from class to class electronically instead of physically (use Ctrl/Alt/Delete), and to leave class early due to illness (click Home).
Bloomberg was effusive in his thanks, while also outlining some restrictions that the Gates Foundation insisted upon. "We've had to take apples off the lunch menu and forbid students from going out for Big Macs for lunch, and notify the students that they will not be allowed to turn down cookies."
A prominent feature of the new schools has some teachers worried; blackboards are being enabled to handle pop-up messages. "This could distract our students, especially during periods of intense concentration, like during the new No Child Left Behind as Evidence achievement tests," one veteran teacher said.
But Gates assured everyone that pop-ups are no distraction at all and can lead to some really awesome savings on airline tickets, home equity loans, and life insurance.