BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MAY 26, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Chinese-Americans Want to Make "Lap Music"

WASHINGTON, DC — Chinese-American activists marched on Washington chanting "NBA lip us off. We want Lap music or Lap Top Music on computer. Here is sample:

"Duh Chinese in duh house
Dey be so hot
Dey take dee SAT
And Get high marks
But only on duh Math
Because not good in English

"Dey open duh lestaulant
Dey sell pistachio ice cleam
Dey have a calendar
Dat is a place mat

"Deh open duh laundry
Dat can give starch
You lose ticket
You no get laundry
Usually a bell ling when
You open door
And hundled year old Chinese woman
On duh side
Who not talk
But she got 750
On Math SAT."

Other Chinese marchers were reciting what they called a "funky chicken flied lice sound where everyone plays mandolin and Chinese bells."

Said Ching Kie Cheig, rally leader, "The underlying theme for this song is we are sick of being typecast as people who only can solve algeblaic equations. We also good in calculus. We don't want to be typecast in future. We want to be like Outkast. We want to shoot thlee point shots and party with Diana Loss and Plince like it's 1999 or another year depending on what it says on place mat. We want affirmative action ploglams to implove our Amelican language and arts skills and we want to pick up shirts next Thursday after thlee o clock with ticket. Here's "˜Lap Song':

Shake your Gloove Ting
Shake your Gloove Ting
Yeah yeah
Show them how we take advanced placement math

Shake your Gloove Ting
Shake your Gloove Ting
Yeah yeah
Show them how we
Not musical or good dancer."

Van Gross, MD

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Nation Celebrates Martin Luther King Day With Hip-Hop Culture (22-Jan-03)

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