BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 14, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Lone Conservative Celebrity Holds a Concert Rant for Bush
... Full story

Courtney Love Enters Hospital, Rushed Immediately to Morgue
... Full story

Pamela Anderson Has Car Trouble
... Full story

Teresa Heinz Kerry Takes Charge of the Campaign
... Full story

Bush Says No Security is Needed for the Democratic Convention
... Full story

Dick Cheney Acquires ING, Changes Name to F***ING

Jack Palethorpe Interviews Jonathan Demme, the Director of 'The Manchurian Candidate'
Bongo News' exclusive interview... Full story

Marion Jones' Substance Use Causes Altered Physique
... Full story

Wimbledon Winner, Maria Sharapova, Goes Bananas
... Full story

Jenna Bush Puts it On the Line for Her Dad
... Full story

Jenna Bush Asks the Wizard of Love
You can ask the Wizard anything... Full story

Confessions of the Lovelorn: Jessica Simpson
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Cockney Heavy Petting
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Cheney's Cursing Was Out of Character

Lynne Cheney has said that her husband, Vice President Dick Cheney, was acting out of character when he told Senator Patrick Leahy to "go f**k yourself." She said her husband was not prone to cursing.

"He is such a good man, and more likely to say, 'Up your hole with a jelly roll,' or "˜Bite my crank you bastard' if he's really tried," she said. "He almost never uses the phrase "Go f**k yourself" unless it's to one of the kids or the next door neighbor."

"I can verify that," said next door neighbor, Dr. Denton Skullplate. "As long as I've lived next to the Cheney's I think I've only got one "˜Go f**k yourself' in all the years that I've known him. It's usually just the neighborly "˜Get your f**king dog off my lawn or I'll kill it with a pick ax' that I've heard in the past. He's just not normally a guy that would say "˜Go f**k yourself' unless he really would like to see the attempt," said Skullplate.

Mike Pasternack

Read these related stories:

Dick Cheney Caught Groping (19-May-04)

The "Bush Tapes" Reveal That the Bush Administration is Extremely Right Wing (4-Jun-03)

AAAAARGH!!!!!!!! Britney Spears Morphs Into Hillary Clinton (17-Mar-04)

Dick Cheney is Put to Sleep (3-Mar-04)

After 9-11 in New York and 3-11 in Madrid, Get Ready for 7-11 (2-Jun-04)

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