BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. SEPTEMBER 8, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Michael Moore's 'Fahrenheit 1812' to Deny Link Between King George III and Burning of White House

HOLLYWOOD — Iconoclastic filmmaker, Michael Moore, is at it again. In his upcoming Fahrenheit 1812, Moore makes the startling revisionist claim that President James Madison lied to the American people regarding threats posed by the British Empire. Asserting there was no operational linkage between the British Crown and those who burned Washington, DC, Moore instead blames a cabal of Southern plantation owners seeking to drive up the price of tobacco - a group headed by none other than, yes, the Madison family.

Moore details the close ties the Madison family had with the British monarchy prior to 1812. Madison is revealed to have been born a loyal British subject, albeit a colonist in Virginia. This, of course, made English his native tongue, the same language spoken by King George III and other prominent figures involved in the spread of Anglo colonial domination.

The film documents the extensive business dealings between Madison's father, a wealthy tobacco grower and slave owner, and the British government. It is shown Madison's family profited from the sale of tobacco to the British, resulting in many innocent lives lost.

Madison's conduct of the war as President also comes under scrutiny. He is charged with deliberately overstating the menace posed by the British Royal Navy and its weapons of marine destruction. Madison is also skewered for his failure to enlist the help of European allies, particularly Napoleon, and the United Nations, had it existed at the time.

Among the more shocking allegations again involves ties between Madison and the British aristocracy - the assertion that the President allowed members of the royal inner circle to escape America hours after the attack on Washington. A recently discovered early-19th century shipping log reveals two surprising items in the cargo hold of a Jamaican-bound merchant vessel - Lord Alfred Pennyworth Duncan-Hines, Duke of Snyder, and his mistress, Lady Remington.

Most disturbing, though, is the analysis of Madison's political activities prior to 1812, all relating, either pro or con, to King George III. As one of the leading figures of the Revolutionary War, Madison was widely regarded as an "American patriot," or in other words, "a patriot who acted." Moore points out the ominous similarities between the phrase "a patriot who acted" and the fascist Patriot Act, which now threatens to enslave us all.

Woody Latham

Read these related stories:

Michael Moore Wins Admiration of the French and Other Spineless Jellyfish for 'Fahrenheit 9/11' (26-May-04)

Fat Linda Ronstadt Mistaken for Michael Moore, Ejected from All-You-Can-Eat Vegas Buffet (21-Jul-04)

As a Result of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ," Jesus is Now More Popular Than John Lennon (25-Feb-04)

Mel Gibson to Remake "Fiddler on the Roof" with a Catholic Theme (3-Mar-04)

More Miracles Arise From "The Passion of the Christ" (14-Apr-04)

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