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Viagra Causes Leprosy, But Helps You Conjugate French Verbs
ALBANY — New York State officials were delighted with the news that Viagra causes blindness.
“This justifies our action is giving Viagra to rapists,” said one official. “Don’t you see – a pun! – that a blind rapist is going to have a hard time – another pun! – finding the right receptacle for his Viagra-induced erection! There will be some messy fire hydrants and trees, but women will be safer.”
Pfizer, the maker of Viagra, has admitted that, of the over 81 million men have taken Viagra, 43 have gone blind.
However, what Pfizer won’t tell you is that 48 men who took Viagra have been eaten by sharks, 49 have been struck by lightning on golf courses, and one has died from anthrax poisoning.
As a result, New York Attorney General, Eliot Spitzer, wants Viagra and other erectile medications taken off the shelves of New York pharmacies. “We now have a grand jury looking at a man who came down with leprosy after ingesting Viagra,” said an anonymous source close to the Spitzer investigation, whom we will call ‘Eliot S.’
“The man’s weiner fell off!” said Eliot S. “Now we can’t have new Yorkers loosing their wieners, even ones that don’t work very well.”
On a brighter note, men who have taken Viagra have reported miraculous cures for their maladies, and some have acquired new skills. Seventy seven men with pneumonia reported that their pneumonia disappeared after they had taken Viagra for three weeks. And 27 million men said their head colds had gone away. To top it all, one illiterate man on Viagra woke up one day and found he could conjugate French verbs!
