BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 27, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Journalists Agree to Report on Both Sides of the Issues

NEW YORK — In a landmark agreement between media proprietors, print and television reporters and the White House, journalists have agreed that henceforth that they will give both sides of the story when they report the news.

Newspaper and television network proprietors were elated with the new agreement. "This will be a huge labor saving measure for us," said a spokesman. "Now that reporters will write their stories from both the right and left point of view, we won't need as many of them. Previously, we needed a few right-wing columnists to balance the leftist tendencies of most of the scum."

"It was a huge give for us," said a spokeswoman for the journalists. "It is very hard to write the news from the other side's point of view, so it will be something of a strain for our members."

Hillary Clinton said that the new agreement would not change the vice-like grip that the vast right wing conspiracy had on the media, nor would it change her fundraising efforts.

"This is a huge victory for fair and balanced reporting," said Bill O'Reilly, "and I won't even have to change the motto for my show! Just the content."

Emma Dubin

Read these related stories:

New York Times Wins 'Foolitzer' Prize After Reporter Found to Have Made Up Stories (14-May-03)

New York Times Revises Policy on Bylines (4-Jun-03)

Identity of Deep Throat Revealed, Porn Star is Grossed Out (1-Jun-05)

Woodward: Sources Must Be Protected, To Maximize My Book Profits! (8-Jun-05)

Weekly World News Admits to Story Fabrication (20-Apr-05)

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