BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. NOVEMBER 30, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Recipes of the World: Iraq - American Army Leftovers

Recipes of the World

This week's recipe:

American Army Leftovers by Chef Unisi Kamperi

Chef Unisi Kamperi

Bring a big bag to the dump behind the American camp and a stick to beat off the rats. The best things to look for are the strange green cans that have the Infidel letters 'MRE' on them. I think MRE stands for 'McDonald's Religious Experience.' A real prize is if there is anything still in the can, even if it is open.

Quickly put everything you find in the bag before anyone sees what good things you have found. The Infidels are so wasteful you will find many good things in their garbage but always to be careful to be beating off the rats. (Note: If you are having a bad day you can always add a rat to your bag.)

There are a lot of fires already going all over Baghdad but, if you want to eat in private, gather some loose ammunition that is lying around and take out the gunpowder to get a good fire started in some deserted building. This is always my favorite moment because I get to see the surprise inside the green cans that say MRE. Sometimes they taste very good indeed and other times I think that the Americans must like to eat what comes out of their behinds (even the rat tastes better). But I like the freedom of choice the Americans have brought to my country, and I always wanted to know what a McDonald's Happy Meal tastes like.

Read these related stories:

Recipes of the World - Papua New Guinea: Baked Tribesman (20-Aug-03)

Recipes of the World - Pakistan: Mud Cakes (27-Aug-03)

Recipes of the World - England: Spotted Dick (3-Sep-03)

Recipes of the World -- Sicily: Funeral Dinner (10-Sep-03)

Recipes of the World - Mexico: Crocodile Cheek Soup (17-Sep-03)

Recipes of the World -- Jamaica: Ganja Cake (24-Sep-03)

Recipes of the World - Alaska: Fried Polar Bear Balls (8-Oct-03)

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