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Moussaoui Seeks Confirmation on That Virgins Thing
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"Ex-Generals Are Like Ex-Wives" - Bush
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Massachusetts Mandates Health Care, Bush Calls in Nuclear Strike
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Mexo-Sexo, the New Craze in Illegal Alien Fashion and Lifestyle
For the undocumented caballero in you... Full story
Cheney is Booed After Pitch Goes Low and Outside
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Anderson Cooper and Dick Cheney to Star in a Gay Sitcom
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Bush Diary - See-More Herschey Bar Says I Will Nuke I-Ran
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Analysts Say That the Iranian Leader Has a Really Tiny Penis
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Muppets Slaughtered After Outbreak of Big Bird Flu
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"Ride Like the Wind' Now "Ride Like a Sardine (in a Landscaping Truck)'
Illegals’ folk song... Full story
Ask Dr. Sawtooth: Why is Everything I Buy Made in China?
... Full story
Planet Comics: Natalie Portman
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story
Hugo Ballz: Peanut Butter and Spiders
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story
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Top 10 Rejected Ways Barry Bonds Can Improve His Image
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10. "Hire a hot PR dude." - Paris H., NY, NY
9. "Just say no to performance enhancing drugs." - Nancy R., Santa Barbara, CA
8. "Go on Oprah and don't jump on her sofa." - Tom C., L.A. CA
7. "Give up your bat for a bike. There are no drugs in cycling. No matter what the labs say." - Lance A., Austin, TX
6. "Spend five months in jail, get out and do a TV show." - Martha S., Westport, CT
5. "Go into rehab, get out and do a TV show." - Whitney H., Alpharetta, GA
4. "Write a children's book." - Madonna, Ashcombe, England
3. Guest star on "Celebrity Poker Showdown." - Macauley C., NY, NY
2. "Get a kitty." - Dave L., NY, NY
1. "More steroids!" - Greg A. (Bonds' personal trainer)
For more Top 10 Rejects, see www.toptenrejects.com
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Read these related stories:
Barry Bonds Thought Steroids Were Flaxseed Oil and Arthritis Rub (15-Dec-04)
Mark McGwire Admits to Being a Steroid from the Planet Ster (23-Mar-05)
Einstein Papers: "I Took Steroids That Made Me Smarter" (10-Aug-05)
Laura Bush Admits to Using Steroids on Her Rear End (16-Mar-05)
Bush Diary - I Want the GoDaddy Girl; Texas Rangers Did Do Steroids (9-Feb-05)
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