BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 12, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Ken Lay Wins Indonesian Surfing Competition
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Bush Makes Incursions Into America to Confuse the Enemy
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Bush Elected President of Mexico
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Justices Roberts, Scalia and Thomas Will Decide the Mexican Election
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New York Times Now Writing Terror-Sponsoring Reports in Arabic and Chinese
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Keira Knightley Denies Being Anorexic, Says She Keeps Slim With Cocaine
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After Part of an Indian Man's Skull Fell Off, Indians Start Selling Yarmulkas
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How They Put Together the President's Cheering Section
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Help Us Celebrate Arab American Heritage Month
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President Proposes a New Anti-Flag Burning Bill
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Ask Dr. Sawtooth: What's the Difference Between the Vietnam and Iraq Wars?
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Ball-Flattening Tales: Scarlett Johansson
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Three Legs
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Straights Mock Gays' Distress at New York Court Decision on Gay Marriage

NEW YORK — Straight New Yorkers mocked the dismay with which New York gays and lesbians reacted to the New York Supreme Court's decision that there was no right in New York to marriage between members of the same sex.

"Isn't it terrible that you can have indiscriminate sex with hundreds of partners and have no pressure to marry any or them, and have no risk of being trapped in a common law marriage," said a New York straight guy. "There's no risk of a paternity suit and your partner can never take half your assets. This court decision is a disaster? Gimme a break!"

But gays and lesbians say that the court's decision is a huge emotional setback.

"How could the majority judge say that children in heterosexual families are better off then in gay families," asked one gay, white male while he performed fellatio on his white partner on the living room sofa while their adopted black and Korean children played nearby. "Who is to say what is normal?"

"I'm going to drown my sorrows," said another gay New Yorker, "by having anal sex with a complete stranger."

John Turnbull

Read these related stories:

Gay Marriages Voided: Gays Relieved (18-Aug-04)

Gay Bishop Was a Wrestling Pro (13-Aug-03)

God Tells Pope and Gay Bishop to Both Continue Their Work (22-Oct-03)

Carson Kressley Recruits Gay Democrats for Canada (17-Nov-04)

Bush's Gay Brother (24-Nov-04)

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