BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 19, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Israel Nukes France for Being Anti-Semitic, Bush Defends Israel's Right to Attack
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Bush Nukes Entire Middle East - And Massachusetts Too
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French World Cup Captain Ejected for Cheese-Related Altercation
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Senior Citizen Gives Birth - World Record for Broken Water
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The Osama Diary
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Puff the Magic Airport
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Separated at Birth: Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
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Christie Brinkley: "There Are Still 3 Billion Men I Haven't Married"
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Ask Dr. Sawtooth: Why is Your President So Linguistically Challenged?
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Hugo Ballz: Mow the Lawn
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Bush Wrecks Cart and G-8 Summit

SAINT PETERSBURG, Russia — The G-8 Summit came to a close on a sour note for the Bush Administration as President Bush capped off a weekend of faux pas by wrecking a small electric cart that he was driving. The President and his passengers were unhurt, but the President's $3,000 mountain bike was run over in the incident. An Administration spokesperson stated that the President had left the bike parked outside after a long ride earlier in the day.

Later that same evening, Bush was caught on film attempting to give an unwanted massage to the shoulders of German president Angela Merkel. At the same meeting, the President was also overheard using profanity in a discussion with British Prime Minister Tony Blair over the escalation of hostilities between Lebanon and Israel.

An anonymous White House spokesperson blamed the President's erratic performance on a "passionate newly acquired taste" for Russian bottled water. They stated that the President had become particularly fond of a brand of bottled water called Stolichnaya, and stated that the President had consumed an entire bottle during his prolonged bike ride earlier in the day. He was then seen to be carrying one with him throughout the day, and the President's personal physician speculated this resulted in Mr. Bush becoming somewhat over hydrated and water intoxicated.

A White House spokesperson stated that the President made the decision to retire earlier in the evening as his conversational skills seemed to dramatically deteriorate. He was overheard throughout the evening in his conversations with various leaders saying repeatedly and loudly, "Just wait!"

Russian President, Vladimir Putin, said that he will be making a gift of a case of the President's favorite water upon his departure. He stated that it would be a conciliatory gesture toward the President for his attempts to spread an American brand of democracy throughout the Middle East and possibly Russia.

Dood Abides

Read these related stories:

Bush and Powell Meet with Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah on Middle East Crisis (1-May-02)

Bush and Saudi Hold Hands, Make Out (4-May-05)

Bush Cracks Secret Al-Qaeda Code (1-Sep-04)

Bush Fart (12-May-04)

Bush Diary - At Least the War in Eye-Rack is Becoming Civil (22-Jun-05)

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