BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 15, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Are Cloned Babies Edible?
... Full story

Clarence Thomas Memoirs: How I Became White
Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, has done a book deal with HarperCollins for $1.5 million... Full story

Hillary's Giant Gaffe
"I watched the game - we wuz robbed!"... Full story

Newcomer Will Star in "The Winona Ryder Story"
... Full story

Pope Does Research Into Pervy Priests' Sexual Practices
... Full story

Prince Charles Makes a Discovery About Farming
... Full story

New Zealanders Invent Radical Boat Design

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND — The New Zealand syndicate defending the America's Cup next month has unveiled a radical new design for its sailboat. The New Zealand boat has a hull extension on its blunt end which makes the boat longer, and therefore faster. The Kiwis call it "The Hula," which is short for "hull appendage." The New Zealand boat also has an extra-long keel "bulb" and an additional "spreader" on the mast, for stiffness.

Not to be outdone, the American and Swiss challengers have come up with their own inventions. The American boat, Oracle, has added a hull extension on the pointy end. "We call it the 'Long Dong'," said Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle Corporation, which is sponsoring the American challenge. "It will improve our thrust through the water."

The Swiss challenger, Alinghi, hasn't changed the shape of its hull, but has added a mountain yodeler on its deck.

Read these related stories:

Really Southern News (14-Nov-01)

Study Reveals That Bicycle Seats Cause Limp Dicks (16-Oct-02)

Olympics Whine Down (27-Feb-02)

French Spectators Taunt the Runners in the Paris Marathon (17-Apr-02)

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