BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 22, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Nation Celebrates Martin Luther King Day With Hip-Hop Culture
... Full story

Cloning Debate: Government Wants All Identical Twins Killed
Pandering to its religious-right base, the Bush administration... Full story

Canadians Need to Have Sex More Often
Molson Brewery has launched a new campaign... Full story

Siamese Twins Are Surgically Rejoined
... Full story

Anne Hathaway at the Golden Globes
... Full story

English Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw, Gives Colin Powell a Thrill
... Full story

Orchestra Conductors Are Weird
... Full story

Who's a Child Pornography Viewer?
... Full story

AOL Head Case Resigns

NEW YORK — AOL Chairman, Head Case, resigned under pressure from the AOL board of directors, led by Ted (Lion) Tamer. AOL's stock has declined precipitously since the merger of AOL and Time Waster, as synergies failed to materialize between the online service and traditional media.

AOL, which stands for Antiquated Online Loser, is a high-priced internet-for-dummies service which has become an earnings drag on the merged company.

Read these related stories:

Need a Mesothelioma Attorney? (26-Dec-01)

Kissinger, Mitchell, Cardinal Law, Al Gore, Everybody Resigns; But Not Lott (18-Dec-02)

Jack Welch Agrees To Return The Palace, But Will Keep The Slaves (18-Sep-02)

Disney Directors Question Eisner (2-Oct-02)

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