BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 23, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Dr. Atkins Dies From Brain Injury - Doctors Say He Might Have Survived But For His Unhealthy Diet
Diet doc hits his head on the ice... Full story

Russian Spring Break Ends: Debt Not Forgiven
Putin, Chirac, Schroeder sober up, face cost of events... Full story

Bush, Blair Flush Out 'Vital Role' for UN in Post-War Iraq: Unblocking Toilets
Something for the UN to plunge into... Full story

US Text Books are Being Re-Written to Reflect Saddam's Love for Things of Beauty, Bush's Fascism
... Full story

Iraqi Museum of Antiquity Looted of Ancient Artifacts, Tandy Computers
... Full story

Madonna - The Interview
The Material Girl talks to Mark Fisher, who's back from Baghdad with an expensive-looking carpet... Full story

Publishers Scramble to Come Up With a New Title for Dr. Atkins' Book, "Atkins for Life"

NEW YORK — Publishers at St. Martin's Press were scrambling this week to come up with a new title for Dr. Atkins' latest book, Atkins For Life, now that Atkins' life is over.

This latest in a series of diet books by Dr. Atkins was published in January and has become a best seller.

Kicking around possible titles this week, the publishers came up with the following potential new titles:
  • "Atkins for Lie"
  • "Fatkins for Life"
  • "Atkins for Life, or Until You Fall Over"
  • "Atkins Until Death Do Us Part"
  • "You May as Well Eat Meat, Cheese and Eggs, Because You'll Probably Die From Something Else"

Read these related stories:

Vietnam Accuses Bob Kerrey, War Hero, of War Crimes (5-Jun-02)

"Worst Case" Survival Guide for Democrats (13-Nov-02)

Hasn't The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Reached its Limit? (17-Jul-02)

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