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Bush, Blair Flush Out 'Vital Role' for UN in Post-War Iraq: Unblocking Toilets
WASHINGTON, DC — President Bush and British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, have defined the "vital role" they promised for the United Nations in post-war Iraq: unblocking the nation's toilets.
This comes after well-connected US firm, Bechtel, was awarded a contract for up to $680 million to build roads, airports, buildings and electrical grids in Iraq, all nice clean work, and amid plans for US and British firms to receive other lucrative contracts.
"We think this is a fitting role for the UN," said the President.
President Jacques Ch-iraq of France was unsure whether or not to be pleased with this announcement. "It is true that the French invented the water closet," he said. "We also lead the world in having unisex public toilets where women can take a look at men's thingies while they make pee-pee. But have you seen our toilets? I would hardly call them clean!"
However, Gerhard Schroeder, the German Chancellor, was keen to make political capital out of this apparently friendly gesture by the US. "This is the first time George Bush has spoken to me!" he said. "You see! All is forgiven! Besides, we Germans are the cleanest race on the planet. We're so clean we don't even sh*t."
The Prime Minister of Belgium, Guy Verhofstadt, was also inclined to put a positive spin on the announcement. "The UN works! And Belgians can play a vital role because, after eating lots of our famous Belgian chocolates, our sh*t really stinks!"
