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Diabetes Defense Doesn't Sugarcoat Verdict for Janklow
FLANDREAU, South Dakota — Rep. Bill Janklow, Republican of South Dakota,
was convicted of second degree manslaughter for speeding through a stop
sign and causing the death of a motorcyclist despite his lawyer's use of a
defense based on a newly-discovered strain of diabetes, Type 3, Vehicular
Insulince (VI).
Medical researchers found that this form of diabetes produces the urge to
drive fast and recklessly, often running over other motorists or
pedestrians, and not retaining any memory of the event at your
trial--usually after not eating for a whole day. The defense attorney
admitted that he originally thought of going with the Slightly Off
Syndrome defense but decided that it was better
to go with VI.
"I really thought I had convinced the jury that my client had medical
problems that contributed to the accident and excused him from taking
responsibility for his actions," he added.
A number of persons testifying for the defendant, including Senator Tom
Daschle, D-South Dakota, bolstered Janklow's claim that he didn't eat at
all the day of the accident. A waitress said he skipped his breakfast
because the order took too long. A former intern testified that Janklow
turned down barbecue at lunch because he didn't want to get sauce on his
clothes. She also said she heard him ask his chief of staff for a hot dog
but she never saw him eat one. While most jurors said they could believe
that he went all day without food, several of them felt that it was not
believable that a 240-lb. man forgot to eat for a 20 hour period.
After the verdict was announced, Janklow announced that he will resign from
Congress on January 20, the same date he is scheduled to be sentenced.
In a related development, marketing executives at Oscar Meyer have offered
to supply Janklow with all the wieners he wants should he have to serve
time in prison.
"He can count on knowing his bologna's first and last names for however long
he's incarcerated," said one of the execs.
