BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MARCH 10, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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I Support President Bush for Reelection Because ...
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Girl Scouts Not Getting Pregnant; Waco Man Concerned

WACO, Texas — The leader of the anti-abortion group, Pro-Life Waco, has announced that his group will be boycotting Girl Scout cookies because of the Girl Scout's close ties to Planned Parenthood, safe sex, and homosexuals.

"First we have them gays wanting to be parents. Now we have them girl scouts not wanting to be teenage parents. What the fagizle?" said the group's leader, John Pisciotta. The group is protesting the sex-education program endorsed by the Girl Scouts, which teaches boys and girls about safe-sex and condoms, planned parenting, and homosexuality.

"It's not that we're activists," said Lara Adams, a concerned mother, "we just want our daughters to become pregnant as early and as often as possible. Screw them condoms."

Debera Cooky disbanded her Brownie troop when she learned about the gay activism being preached. She argued that "If girls learn about homosexuality, they will all become homosexuals."

The Girl Scouts national organization, which is based in New York and has 2.9 million girl members and 986,000 adult members, has a huge potential for righteous procreation.

A lot of parents in the community will not listen to Pisciotta's views. However, some pious parents are removing their daughters from Girl Scouts to keep the Devil away.

"I told my daughter that the Girl Scouts were supporting something not morally right. She said she understood, and then got pregnant immediately," said a happy mother.


Read these related stories:

God Tells Bush Everything He is Doing is Wrong (13-Aug-03)

TiVo Knows You're Gay (11-Dec-02)

Princess Diana Was Pregnant When She Died ... And Strom Thurmond Was the Father! (7-Jan-04)

Wal-Mart Pulls Teenage-Pregnancy Barbie From Shelves (8-Jan-03)

The Beloved Sippy Cup Comes Under Attack from Speech Therapists (20-Feb-02)

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