VATICAN CITY, 2009-12-25 — In a new and startling development, the Vatican released another statement today about the toppling of Pope Benedict XVI at Christmas Eve Mass.
A Vatican spokesperson said, "At first we thought this was just a case of one deranged woman, but it now seems it involved two deranged women, the second one being Sarah Palin!"
Ms. Palin was detained by the Vatican’s Swiss Guard and questioned after the assailant, Suzanna Maiolo, told the Vatican that she was asked by Ms. Palin to deliver a copy of Palin's book, Going Rogue, to the Pontiff.
When asked by the guards why she would do such a thing, Ms. Mailo answered, "I, like many people under psychiatric care, am a big fan of Sarah's and, when she asked me to do this special favor, I was of course thrilled to be able to help."
After questioning, Ms. Palin was released, and immediately held a press conference.
"It was all a misunderstanding,” she said. “I thought Suzanna would just hand him the book but she tripped and crashed into the Pope. I explained all this to the cutest Swiss dude in a blue and orange set of pajamas."
When asked why she chose to have the book delivered in such a manner, Ms. Palin replied, "I wanted to make sure he got it before Christmas. I sure as heck wasn't going to trust the U.S. Post Office to do that!
"I know he would like the book as we have so much in common."
When asked what exactly she and the Pope had in common, Ms. Palin said, "Well, gosh, I mean, we are both are against birth control, we both are against abortion, and we both are accused of being Nazis," she added with a wink.
