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Taliban Refuses to Fight U.S. Army Because of Openly Gay Policy

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN, 2010-12-18 — In an unintended consequence of the lifting of the "Don't ask, Don't Tell" policy in the U.S. armed services, the Taliban is refusing to go in to battle against the U.S. Army in Afghanistan, now that it is permitting openly gay men to serve.

"Gays are so disgusting that we refuse to fight them," said a Taliban leader. "We hang gays. We don't want to come into contact with them. We may be contaminated. Or tempted."

Meanwhile, U.S. Army recruiters are stepping up their recruiting efforts, and are targeting gays.

"We need to get our headcount up," said one recruiter, "so we'll take fruitcakes or whatever." They are targeting men's gyms at the "Y".

However, many gays are repelled by the notion of going to foreign lands to kill people, and also repulsed by army uniforms.

"Everyone has to dress the same," lamented one gay man who turned down the recruiters. "The dress code unfortunately allows for no expression of individuality. It's so uniform!"

Robert Stick

Read these related stories:

Bill O'Reilly: Gay Penguins Are Unnatural (20-Dec-06)

Sexual Harassment Increases in the Navy as the Iraq War Winds Down (30-Apr-03)

TV Networks Go Gay (5-Nov-03)

God Tells Bush Everything He is Doing is Wrong (13-Aug-03)

Anthropologists Discover First Gay Man (8-Feb-06)

TiVo Knows You're Gay (11-Dec-02)

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