WASHINGTON, D.C., 2010-03-24 Now that the nation has nearly universal health care coverage, it has emerged that a provision inserted into the bill will require thin people to pay a higher premium for health insurance in order to pay for the myriad of costly diseases that fat people create for themselves.
"We have to provide coverage for fat people," said Nancy Pelosi, House Speaker, as she played with her Mussolini memorabilia in her Capital Hill office. "They can't help being fat. They need protecting from themselves.
"And who is left to pay for fat people but thin people?" she asked.
Republicans attacked the fat person clause.
"There are fewer and fewer thin people every year to pay for the increasing number of fat people in this country," said Mitch McConnell, Republican negative person. "It's unsustainable. Besides, most rich people are thin."