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Forget Google; Bongo News is Banned in China!

SHENZEN, China, 2010-03-27 — By Jack Palethorpe, our Movie Critic and Fashion Editor (hey, I'm a trained journalist and a serious reporter too!)

I came to China to attend the My Poo Film Festival, but I have a much bigger, breaking news story to report.

While Google is embroiled in a faceoff with China over its refusal to censor the news and is daring China to shut down its site, I have discovered that China has already blocked access to Bongo News!

So it's not just British Airways that has banned Bongo (British Airways Blocks Access to Bongo News). Denied access are not only all the people in the British Airways' lounge at Heathrow, but 400 million Internet users in China.

Perhaps the Chinese think that we are a real news site, or they cannot tell what is real news and what is satire. Perhaps they took offense at a few of our Chinese stories, such as US Bans Imported Chinese Slave Meat, and Chinese to Launch Takeout Food Service in Space and Chinese Retards Mob Arnold, Like His Policies. They are pretty funny. (Did British Airways not like the Arab and Indian stories, such as Gas Cloud Envelopes Muslims at Morning Prayer, and Bongo News' Burkha Contest: Where's My Wife? and Gandhi Really Did Run a Gas Station?)

Or perhaps the Chinese leadership wants their people to think that the Western leaders they have been demonizing are evil and powerful, and not just buffoons and fools. Or perhaps they just have no sense of humor.

China is an amazing place, rapidly catching up with the rest of the world. I stayed in a 5-star hotel, and felt right at home. I was particularly comforted by a sign posted near the swimming pool: "No Spitting." I chose not to swim.

Two signs at the airport showed how sophisticated the Chinese have become. The airport authority had two slogans: "Soaring into sky, singing upon world" and "Bright future borns from here." Quite.

The film festival was terrible. No Jackie Chan, no "Crouching Tiger," no CG, just local movies without subtitles. I couldn't understand a word.

Jack Palethorpe

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