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BP Plan to Drill in Deep Water off Libya Seen as British Plan to Destroy Libya's Tourism


LONDON, 2010-07-24 — BP will start deep-water drilling off the coast of Libya, according to a company spokesman.

The spokesman rejected environmental concerns about the new drilling operation, which comes after BP's massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that has become the biggest environmental catastrophe in the United States.

"Our safety and environmental standards will be just as high as they were in the Gulf of Mexico," he said, "and we have a contingency plan if the unthinkable happens."

"The plan includes not using phrases such as 'I'm looking forward to getting my life back' and 'We care about the small people.'"

BP had previously confirmed that it had lobbied the British government of then Prime Minister, Tony Blair, to pursue an agreement with Libya on a prisoner exchange involving the Pam Am Lockerbie bomber so that it could get the oil concession.

"That worked really well," said the BP spokesman. "Libya got a dying terrorist and we got the oil. The terrorist is no longer dying and we still have the oil. It's a win-win for all."

Asked if that meant the company had blood on its hands, the spokesmen asked nervously, "Do you mean the people on the plane or the workers on the rig?" before recovering and saying, "We comply with all applicable local laws."

However, the intelligence community believes that having BP drill for oil off the coast of Libya is a British plan to destroy Libya's nascent tourist industry which has become an increasingly important part of Libya's economy and has been a key component in improving Libya's image. Libya has some of the best preserved Roman ruins, and they have drawn tourists from all over the world and begun to end Libya's isolation.

"They won't look so inviting once they're covered in oil," said a former British secret service agent.

James Bond

Read these related stories:

BP's Green Advertising Campaign: Beyond the Pale (30-Aug-06)

Ghadafi Wants to Kiss and Make Up (31-Dec-03)

'Coffee' Annan Says Iraq War is Illegal, Wants to Resume Oil-for-Food Scam (29-Sep-04)

Gas Cloud Envelopes Muslims at Morning Prayer (7-Dec-01)

Romanian Humor: Liquid Explosion (30-Aug-06)

Yelling ‘God Is Great’ While Killing People Does Not Make You a Terrorist (13-Nov-09)


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