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Obama Denies He is a Muslim, Issues a Fatwa

WASHINGTON, D.C., 2010-08-29 — With polls showing that one in five Americans think he is a Muslim, President Obama issued a denial that he was one. He also issued a fatwa against people voting to give the keys back to the Republicans.

"They drove the car into the ditch," said the President, "and women should not be driving cars. They should be at home."

"The failed economic policies of the Great Satan, George Bush, should not be repeated," he said, "including charging interest on money. That is prohibited by the Koran."

He also issued a fatwa against people attending rallies organized by Glen Beck. "I wish that Allah blind him," he said.

For good measure, he threw in a fatwa against Michelle Obama, ordering her to shut up and wear a burkah.

Emma Dubin

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